Joke Thread

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Flat Capper
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Flat Capper » 25 Dec 2012, 04:17

Our lass wanted something black and lacy for Christmas so I've bought her a pair of football boots...

I've also promised to take her out so I've booked the best table in the house......she loves snooker.

I did think of taking her somewhere more expensive but she didn't fancy the petrol station...
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bane73
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by bane73 » 04 Jul 2013, 08:12

Jesus is looking for a room for the night he walks into an inn he walks to the man behind the counter gives him three nails and says "can you put me up for the night".
what doesn't kill me simply makes me...stranger.

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Hillary Briss
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Hillary Briss » 12 Jul 2013, 09:34

Odds on being next to take home the ashes
England 6/4 ,
Aussies 3/1,
Winnie Mandela 1/3.

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Re: Joke Thread

Post by onetiger » 06 Sep 2013, 09:46

i would not say my mother in law is ugly -but even the tide would not take her out

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Re: Joke Thread

Post by WF10 » 30 Jul 2014, 16:08

How long does it take to become a cowboy?

About a yee-ha

Bengal
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Bengal » 08 May 2015, 13:05

Q. What do you call a Fev lass in a white shell suit?


A. The bride


Q. What do you call a Fev fan in a detached house?


A. A burglar
So I said to the Taxi driver, "King Edwards Close". He replied "It's alright we'll lose him at the next set of lights".

"If you listen to the fans, you end up sitting with them" - Wayne Bennett

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Danny Boy
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Danny Boy » 25 May 2015, 08:50

Home Games

At long last, the good-humored boss was compelled to call Freddie into his office.

"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game, you have to take your gran to the doctor."

"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Freddie. "I didn't realise that. What a coincidence!"

"Well?" the boss said after an awkward moment of silence. "Do you have an explanation?"

"Hmmmm..." said Freddie. "You think she's faking it?"
Danny Boy

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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Stoke Bloke » 03 Mar 2016, 13:20

Apparently the residents of Featherstone were in shock today after a police raid uncovered some 3.5 tonnes of high grade cocaine, 4 assault rifles, several handguns, 2,000 rounds of ammunition and some semtex in a lockup behind the job centre.

A local who didn't wish to be identified said "Its very very surprising you don't usually associate a job centre with Featherstone"
BE LOYAL BE LOUD BE CAS.

John 3:16

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Re: Joke Thread

Post by WF10 » 27 May 2017, 16:19

I bought my last dog off the blacksmith.
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
removed post it again and you will join them on a 48 hour ban read the AUP

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